McIntyre Hunts

January 12, 2011

La chute de l’homme

So  here I sit, a plastic bottle of urine on the table and my left leg in a brace from crotch to ankle, the knee wrapped in pressure bandages and covered with sutures.  Time to return to my blog.  Perhaps we will call the entries that follow, “Anatomy of a Recovery,” versus some less temporary version of an anatomy.

Got my car stuck just past my driveway when I was taking out the garbage a week ago last Monday night (bad ice, not in a glass).  Got up the next morning with wee 6′ 3″ 240 lbs. Bryan, my son, home for Christmas break from his studies in film and theater at the U of Iowa, and drove down with the other car to pull the first one out.  Got out, walked around the stuck car, to where it had slid off the road, and I slid.  Right leg went out, but the left one locked.  POW.  BAM. Had to crawl to a car (luckily, my neighbors happened to be passing by) to get to the orthopedist who took one look and said, in toto, “Ruptured quadriceps.  Surgery.  Twelve weeks recovery.  $10,000.”  Great bedside manner, but at least he was a field surgeon in Iraq, so he’s seen a few torn up bodies.  I was leaving for a self-guided walking safari in Cameroon on February 14.  So much for that.

The bright light, such as it is, is that by the time I get through with all the recovery and rehab, I might be in halfway decent shape to make another run (or at least a carefully controlled walk) at Cameroon in ‘12, when I will be 60.  My “last chance to be a boy,” as Roosevelt said of the Amazon.

If you’re gonna get old, you gotta be tough.


September 28, 2010

Hunting at any Cost

Filed under: Hunting, Politics — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 12:05 pm

The big news is the reopening of Iran to American big-game hunters, creating visions of O’Connor, HIH Prince Abdorreza Pahlavi, and the kopet dag urial.  Technically, a ruling by the Treasury Department has concluded that it is legal for Americans to hunt there.  And the question is, should they?

The same question has been asked (by me, among others) about hunting in Zimbabwe under the current oppressive regime of Robert Mugabe.  And if anything, Ahmadinejad’s Iran is a far more troubling proposition.

I must admit to some ambivalence about picking and choosing the countries we believe it is correct to travel to.  Objections could certainly be raised about almost any nation on earth, in terms of its treatment of its own citizens (“Not gonna play Sun City”).  But Iran is a particularly egregious example, from stoning adulterers, disproportionately women, to seeking nuclear weapons, to its interference with US interests in Iraq and Afghanistan and support of insurgents who are killing American troops.  It’s also where American citizens are, in a repeat of an old pattern, being held prisoner, if not hostages, on non-criminal grounds and where other Americans, such as retired FBI agent Robert Levinson who vanished from Kish Island in 2007, have literally disappeared under suspicious circumstances and without any effort at explanation by the Iranian government.

It remains to be seen if there will be a rush of American hunters to the land of the Ayatollahs which has been directly involved in the taking of American lives.  If so, it might be another case of the passion for hunting overriding a question of principles.

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  While his son attends college out of state, he lives with his wife, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 29, 2010

Who’s Your Buddy?

A shout-out to fellow blogger Chas Clifton, whom may be linked-to on the blogroll at Southern Rockies Nature Blog, for drawing attention to the Center for Biological Diversity, and its taste in pro-hunting groups.  In its effort to portray woodland creatures as Nature’s equivalent of benighted slum-dwelling children ingesting lead paint, the CBD petitioned the Environmental Protection Agency to ban all lead-containing firearms’ projectiles, including those used by the military.  The petition failed, even though the CBD endeavored to bring some street cred to its clearly anti-hunting proposition by pointing to the support given it by the “grassroots hunters’ organization” Project Gutpile.  “Project Gutpile”?  Is that on Lifetime?  Like Clifton, and like Donald Sutherland impersonating that general in The Dirty Dozen, “Never heard of it.”

Some minor Googling, though, unearthed a PG website (http://projectgutpile.blogspot.com/p/about-us.html) which discloses that this group is, in fact,   

…an online resource for lead-free hunters and anglers.  We’ve been promoting non-lead ammunition and raising lead awareness in the hunting community since 2002.  We recently expanded our program to include Unleaded [sic] fishing, and we’re now promoting non-toxic sinkers and jigs in addition to ammunition.  Lead is an extremely toxic substance with proven, often deadly, effects on humans and wildlife.  Join the movement and make your next hunt or fishing trip Unleaded!  It’s an easy way to keep yourself and the places you enjoy healthy.

This movement would seem to consist almost entirely of a blog archive with 82 entries, dating back to 2006, and only a single one in 2010—which is about the EPA’s denial of the CBD petition.  Its co-founder, and apparently prime mover, is self-described Santa Barbara, California, backcountry hunter Anthony Prieto, which sounds he-man enough for government work.   

A 2002 Audubon profile of Prieto (http://www.audubonmagazine.org/features0212/endangered_species.html), though, makes him appear, somewhat regrettably, rather more like the caricature of a deeply liberal superannuated hippie one might find depicted on South Park:

Today Prieto is a single parent of two boys, aged 12 and 14.  He works with at-risk teenagers, sings professionally with his own band, and is a devoted condor volunteer.  He helps trap and monitor birds.  The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service recovery program uses his artwork on T-shirts and signs.  But it is as a hunter that Prieto makes perhaps his most significant contribution.  He has embarked on a self-styled, bilingual program to educate sportsmen about lead and its effect on wildlife, especially condors.  Naturally garrulous, Prieto talks to individuals and groups of hunters in gun stores, on the street, in the field—anywhere he can get their attention.  ”The public has no clue,” he says. “Somebody’s got to get them thinking about it.”

Ah, missionary, humanitarian, single dad, devoted condor volunteer, bilingualism advocate, singer, T-shirt painter, and hunter.  I hope some lucky woman’s snatched him up by now.

All right, that may be unfair, but Prieto’s own words (http://www.ojaipost.com/2010/04/a-hunter-speaks-out-on-fish-games-proposed-bear-hunting-changes/) hardly dispel an unavoidable impression of insufferable earnestness when he writes, in opposition to expanding black-bear hunting in California, in boldface, no less:

To say that there’s now an over-abundance of black bears in California is like saying there is no global warming [Gaia forbid anybody ever suggest such a thing—my words]. If anything, there are too many people encroaching on their habitat.

Prieto goes on to insist that if there must be bear hunting,

let it be archery-only to level the playing field.  No rifles, no handguns, no hounds with GPS units.

Let it be, let it be.  Which is to say, let it be no bears taken by any hunters.  And to ice the gâteau, Prieto adds the obligatory and long-ago wearisome Iron Eyes Cody-like jeremiad:

The indigenous people of what is now California revered both black and grizzly bears alike.  The bear was a sacred animal, a spiritual brother of the wild.  What a sad, sorry sight this society has become when we continually try to justify killing more predators as people continually encroach and build homes and ranches deeper and deeper into their habitat.

You gotta love the exquisite cultural sensitivity of that “what is now California” part. 

This is a perfectly transparent tactic by the CBD, one often resorted to by progressives, and let it be noted, by more than a few reactionaries, to grant authority to some essentially nebulous, straw-man group, from a supposedly divergent, and unexpected, segment of the political spectrum, which echoes, or apes, their own position.

Anti-gunners have, in opposition to the NRA, the vocally pro-Obama, and in almost every other respect obscure, American Hunters and Shooters Association (with which the hideous Jimmy Carter’s former press secretary Jody Powell is somehow affiliated), which claims to be—wait for it—

…a national grassroots organization committed to safe and responsible gun ownership.  We are a mainstream group of hunters who are looking to belong to a gun owners association that doesn’t have a radical agenda.

Sounds as middle of the road as rumble strips.

Animal rightists depend on the press-release machine, and pro-vegetarian, Center for Science in the Public Interest to legitimate their assertion of the inherently lethal character of animal flesh in the human diet.  Perhaps most egregious (and I have to admit I feel intellectual discomfort treading anywhere near this issue, even as an exemplar) is the way New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg claims not to have a met a single 9/11 survivor who in any way opposes the building of a “mosque” within hailing distance of Ground Zero.  In short, everybody who matters supports his pose, at least in the Honorable Bloomberg’s anecdotes.

The ultimate fault for this sort of fast shuffle lies, of course, squarely on journalistic indolence.  When it comes to an issue of any complexity, it is far easier, and more facile, to report the handout, rather than doing even the most rudimentary, and even slightly risky—to the accepted wisdom–amount of legwork.  Instead of doing nothing more than turning to a little something I like to call the Internet, it seems that journalists, especially when it comes to “green” issues, and those of “social justice” or “economic equality,” will round up more usual suspects than Captain Reneau in Casablanca.  So the same predictable, politically correct scientist, Midwestern state university assistant professor, or grassroots organization is trotted out time and again, whether he, she, or it actually has something to say.  And we see that none of it’s about lead, at all, but about quicksilver, the kind found in smoke and mirrors.    

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  While his son attends college out of state, he lives with his wife, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 27, 2010

Journey to the Dead End of Your Mind

Earlier this month, Outdoors Magazine sent out a breathless little press release…well, here, please read it yourself:

Nugent Wins

Outdoors Magazine is happy to announce that as the winner of the title “Favorite Celebrity Hunter” in a recent Outdoors Magazine Public Opinion Poll (POP), Ted Nugent’s picture will adorn the October cover of the magazine.

“Nugent was the hands-down winner of the poll,” said James Austin, president of Elk Publishing.  “Almost 1,000 people voted and over 40 percent of them chose Ted as their favorite hunting celebrity.  He beat out others like Waddell and Tiffany by a landslide.”

Not only will the October issue feature the famed hunter/rocker on the cover, it will also include an exclusive story written by one of his close friends, Jeff Zimba, detailing the development of the Ted Nugent Kamp for Kids, which introduces hundreds of children between the age of 9-14 to the outdoors every year.

“There are a lot of outdoor personalities who talk the talk, but only a select few walk the walk like Nugent does,” said Austin.  “We are delighted to be working with him.”

Isn’t that special.  Especially because within a week of winning the readers’ poll “Uncle Ted” was pleading nolo contendere (and should perhaps have pled non compos mentis) to various game violations in California (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/outposts/2010/08/ted-nugent-hunting-deer-baiting-no-contest.html).  Seems that the Nuge, he of the zebra-striped “black” guns and camo Gibson Byrdland (OK, maybe he doesn’t muck up a perfectly good Byrdland with camo, but who knows?), filmed an episode back in ’09 for his television program that showed him killing an immature buck which had been baited into range with “C’mere Deer” attractant—both spelled out as illegal activities under California wildlife regulations, if one deigns to read said regulations.  Which a California game warden then witnessed him doing when the show was broadcast.  Nugent’s plea was to the charges relating to baiting and to failing to have his tag properly signed.

One now wonders if the cover shot that adorns Outdoor Magazine will present Nugent with stripes of a different sort.  And reflective of the parlously unpredictable nature of celebrity journalism, and fact checking, it would seem, the magazine is currently running yet another “Archery Public Opinion Poll” which asks, “If you had the opportunity to hunt with three of the following ‘famous’ bowhunters, who would you choose?” And offers a list of names which includes Johny [sic] Depp, Jeff Foxworthy, Sarah Palin, and (awkward) Roger Clemens.  And rather posthumously, or through some longed-for miracle of revitalization, Walter “Sweetness” Payton.        

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  He lives with his wife, college-age son, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 19, 2010

OK, You Can Use the Damn Stand!

Thanks to Mike Beaver, once again.

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  He lives with his wife, college-age son, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 16, 2010

Fact or Fiction?

It supposedly walks the streets of Colorado Springs, safe from hunters.  Is it real or, to date myself abysmally, is it Memorex?  You make the call.

 Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  He lives with his wife, college-age son, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 11, 2010

Sign of the Times

Looks like nobody can make an honest living these days.  Have to try to steal to survive.  Personally, I blame George Bush.  Cat_fishing_in_Louisiana

(Actually, this doesn’t much look like Louisiana to me, and I’m not entirely certain that’s a catfish, either.  Opinions?)

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  He lives with his wife, son, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 9, 2010

Hoppe’s Springs Eternal

Forget the Old Spice and cardboard pine trees dangling from the rearview mirror.  Real men, and their cars, smell like Hoppe’s No. 9.

Acknowledged by The Art of Manliness website (http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/23/15-manly-smells) as one of the top “15 manly smells,” the scent of Hoppe’s (pronounced “Hŏp´pēs,” in case you always wondered) No. 9, that ultimately ineffable, yet somehow redolent of vanilla extract and Kiwi shoe polish, fragrance, has for 107 years been an ineradicable component of our sense memories.  So Hoppe’s (www.hoppes.com) has now come out with, what else? a No. 9 air freshener, to be found in better gun stores, everywhere.

And high time, too.

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  He lives with his wife, college-age son, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 7, 2010

No Man but a Blockhead

Filed under: Africa, Literary Stuff — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 2:22 pm

One thing leads to another.

Doing a spot of research, I came across a blog by Nairobi, Kenya-based freelance writer Nick Wadhams (http://nwadhams.typepad.com/nwadhams/), who writes frequently for Time.  This wasn’t what I was looking for, but I doubt I’ve ever read a finer précis of the contemporary writer’s fate.  Welcome back to the days of the penny-a-liner.

February 16, 2009

Days Like These (A Short Play In Three Acts), by Nick Wadhams

ACT 1

The SCENE: Out past Nairobi’s Village Market at a bar called Chicken Palace, NICK, a REPORTER, prepares to meet a source at 2 pm. He gets a PHONE CALL from EDITOR #1 on the foreign desk of an unnamed British newspaper.

EDITOR #1: “Hi, Nick, it’s (Ms. X). We were wondering if you could do a story for us in the next couple of hours.”

NICK: “Sure. What’s the story?”

EDITOR #1: “Did you read The Independent today? Muammar Gaddafi’s son got angry when he came to Kenya because he wasn’t allowed to go sport hunting in the Maasai Mara.”

NICK’S imagined response: “Hold on a sec, there. I’ve been pitching you genocide in Darfur, chaos in Somalia, deaths in Congo for the last five days, and you want Gaddafi’s son throwing a tantrum? I can’t say I’m particularly surprised, but fuck!”

NICK: “I didn’t see it. Wow.”

EDITOR #1: “Can you give us 300 words in the next three hours?”

NICK: “No problem. I’m at a meeting now but I’ll be back at my desk in a couple of hours. Will that give you enough time?”

EDITOR #1: “Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks, Nick.”

(curtain closes)

ACT 2

The SCENE: Still at the Chicken Palace, NICK, the REPORTER, is pacing next to his car waiting for the source. The time is 2:30 pm. The phone rings again. It’s another EDITOR on the foreign desk of the same British newspaper.

EDITOR #2: “Hi Nick, it’s (Mr. Y). I know that (Ms. X) just called you about the Gaddafi story. We were wondering if you could do another story for us, too.

NICK: “I think so, what do you need?”

EDITOR #2: “Did you see the story on the BBC about how Marlon Jackson from the Jackson 5 is involved in a plan to build a luxury resort and slave memorial in Badagry, Nigeria, where slaves were put on ships and taken to the West?”

NICK: “I didn’t see it.”

EDITOR #2: “Can you give us 400 words on that?”

NICK’S imagined response: “Are you fucking joking? You want something on the Jackson 5 building a luxury resort in Nigeria? And didn’t you just cut your freelancer rate to $70 per story?”

NICK: “No problem. As I told (Ms. X), I’ve got a couple other things to take care of and then the Gaddafi story to do, but I should be able to get it to you.”

EDITOR #2: “Thanks.”

(curtain closes)

ACT 3

The SCENE: At 7 pm, NICK is in his apartment with his 11-month-old CHILD, who insists on repeatedly slamming a corkscrew on the tray of a high chair smeared with crusty avocado and cheese. Until now, Nick has not noticed that the child has somehow managed to get hold of a sharp object and is waving it around furiously. The PHONE rings.

CHILD: “Dug blug blug blah blah bleg!”

Editor #1: “Hi Nick, we got your Gaddafi story. Our legal team decided that we may not be able to use it because the Gaddafis are very litigious and might sue us for saying their son got mad in Kenya. So we were wondering if you could call a family spokesman and confirm it.”

Nick’s imagined response: “A Gaddafi family fucking spokesman?”

NICK: “Sure.”

BABY: “Yow blah blech dee dee dee!”

NICK calls the Libyan ambassador in Kenya, whose mobile phone number he found on the Internet.

HESAHM ALI SHARIF (heard over the phone): “”We told him that hunting is not allowed, you should go to Tanzania for hunting. He accepted everything. Why would he be angry? He respects the law and the government, and he was really happy about Kenya and loved the Maasai Mara.”

NICK calls EDITOR #1 to explain.

EDITOR #1: “Thanks. That’s OK. I don’t think we’ll run the story.”

Nick hangs up the phone and briefly wonders whether he will be paid for the story if it doesn’t run. He tries to feed the baby, who bangs the corkscrew on the tray and slaps the spoon with rice and chicken out of his hand. The phone rings. It is EDITOR #2

EDITOR #2: “Hi Nick, we were wondering when you’d get that story about the luxury slavery resort to us.”

BABY: (Sound of wailing)

NICK: “Yeah, I’ve been researching that and I think there are several inconsistencies that need more investigating. Is there any chance we could hold off until tomorrow so I can make some calls? Also, not that it’s your problem, but I’m not sure I’m going to make deadline because I need to put my kid to bed.”

BABY: (Sound of wailing)

EDITOR #2: “Well, we really need it today. I see that most of it has already been reported on the Web anyway. How about instead of 400 words, can you give us 300? Does an hour give you enough time?”

Nick’s imagined response: (Stunned silence)

NICK: “Um, OK.”

(curtain closes)

The End

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  He lives with his wife, college-age son, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

August 2, 2010

Closing Le Loup

Hot off the broadband, my friend, Toby Bridges, the keeper of the more-often-than-not incendiary website Lobo Watch (http://www.lobowatch.com/), has taken on the Dickensian assignment of producing a novel in installments on his website.  Entitled Wolf Kill, it looks to be as much polemic as fiction (the foreword and first chapter may be read at http://www.lobowatch.com/WolfKill.html), about the issue of wolf reintroduction in the Northern Rockies, in keeping with Bridges’s strong, if not extreme, views on the subject.  But you have to admire his swinging pair in promising a novel and then creating it out in the open, with nothing up his sleeves.

At this stage, I would judge Wolf Kill a work in progress.  The first paragraph probably sets out more of the story, and thesis, of the book than we ought to know, and there would be benefit from a greater allowance for the tale’s unfolding on its own.  But the rest of the chapter is far from coy about getting into the action without delay as malevolent wolves threaten the lives of young children, limned in “ripping yarn” prose like the following:

There were small 8″x10″ unbreakable plexi-glass windows on each side of the building.  And just as Amber looked out the window facing the county road, one of the wolves reared up to look in…suddenly she was face to face with one of her pursuers.  Those piercing yellow-green eyes, just inches away, sent a chill down her spine.  Without thinking, she jumped back and screamed.  The high pitched alarm excited the wolves even more.

The lead wolf ran around and latched onto the doorknob once again, and pulled so hard the shovel handle bowed.  The other two wolves then attacked the building itself, biting at the thin pine outer boards, pulling off long splinters of wood.  In just seconds, a sliver of daylight could be seen at the edge of the foam insulation at a rear corner.  They were getting through.  Jack had to think of something, and think of it quickly.  Patty was now crying loudly, and the wolves were thriving on the terror they were creating inside.

“Meanwhile, back at the ranch…”

Saturday matinee serial material, if there ever was, which is not all bad.  Could use a bit more cliff hanging at chapter’s end—greater sense of lives in peril.  And somewhere, methinks, there waits a Captain Quint for the story.  Write on, Toby. 

Tom McIntyre’s a contributing editor at Sports Afield and Field & Stream magazines.  He also writes for the television production company Orion Multimedia.  He’s hunted on six continents and is the author of seven books, the latest The Field & Stream Hunting Optics Handbook, published by The Lyons Press, www.LyonsPress.com, and Wild and Fair:  Tales of Hunting Big Game in North America, from Safari Press, www.safaripress.com.  He lives with his wife, college-age son, dog, and cat in Wyoming.

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